Society And The Frustrated Virgin


Defn: A frustrated virgin (also referred to as ‘firgin’) is a living entity which is male ,21 years old in India and 16 in some other parts of the world , has never experienced sexual intercourse and is ,hence , in a state of perpetual frustration.

If you have ever seen a man sporting an innocent smile to hide his gloom, expressing utter disinterest for almost all things earthly and having a veritable fixation for female chests, you know who a ‘firgin’ is. The frustrated virgin has walked on this earth for decades. And yet , the fact that you have absolutely no knowledge about him goes to prove that he has indeed been neglected. This creature, cruelly starved of sexual gratification has for long yearned for a voice. And today I shall give him one.

A firgin is not much different from a normal man. He is physically normal (possibly not a looker, per se, but normal otherwise) , intelligent and has normal cravings. He craves for a job, money and first and foremost, sex. It’s the sex, or rather , the absolute lack of it , that makes him a firgin. A firgin has a very simplistic view of sex. He believes in sex as a mating ritual intended for the furtherance of a generation and as a happy side-effect , an act of pleasure. When sex is denied or withheld, however, the firgin finds himself at his wits end. Unable to comprehend the reasons for society denying him what he feels humanity and at least one female accomplice owes him, the firgin experiences repeated bouts of severe depression. It continues in the said manner over a certain period of time spanning from a 2 months to 2 years . After which , the firgin willingly forsakes his frustrated self to either bury alive his desire for sex and lead a celibate existence or kill himself. Resulting, in either case, in the death of firgin and an indelible scar on the face of humanity.

Lump in the throat, isn’t there?

As responsible members of society, we need to wake up to the reality of firgins. We have ,living among us, men, who in spite of being potentially viable mating partners are mercilessly denied the right to participate in the act. And we need to do something about it. Now !

A firgin basically categorises humans around him under three broad heads: females or potential sex accomplices, men who have had sex and fellow firgins. And while he seeks solace from fellow firgins and envies men who have had sex ,it’s the females he obsesses about the most. A firgin has great respect for the female anatomy. A sentiment he naively chooses to express by ogling the female anatomy’s most glorious part, the breasts. The intensity of this religious obsession manifests itself in a firgin’s day dreams where he finds himself gently paying respects to the female body. A firgin is very conservative in his expectations from women. He does not demand love, security or trust. All he most humbly expects, is a chance to hump one of them. Is that unreasonable ? The women of our society need to realise their faults. When presented with an offer to pleasure a perfectly viable male, women often tend to deny it on flimsy grounds such as receding hairline , blunt nose, smelly armpits, bad breath, lack of feelings and the like. On certain occasions , a female is seen deferring her decision to a later date without realising the potential consequences. Scariest of which being , the birth of a firgin. It is such irresponsible behaviour on the part of women that has resulted in the proliferation of firgins.

It is time the women of our society take corrective measures and the rid the world of this pandemic. Women should be more accommodating in terms of their expectations from their sex partner and be more considerate towards a firgin’s approaches. Women can also help the cause by being more expressive about their sexual desires and taking proactive steps to initiate the process of courtship. Suggestions to that effect include putting a greater area of their breasts on show and sporting phrases like “I am a slut.Do me !” on their items of clothing.

Firgins are a symbol of the degradation of humanity’s core values. We as a people need to act fast to check this phenomenon. The firgins have presented themselves as timid creatures thus far. Restricting the open display of their inner frustration only to social networking websites. Their growing numbers, however, might change that all too soon. We need to act fast. The frustrated virgin needs to relieved of his burden. He needs to be fucked. Hard.

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6 Comments

Filed under TAN Awareness

6 responses to “Society And The Frustrated Virgin

  1. rohan

    “firgin” 🙂
    really funny stuff dude !!!

  2. Rachna

    I am torn between saying “you’re disgusting” & “you’re a really hilarious firgin” !
    Weirdly nice post !

  3. Soumabha Basu

    Firgin for President!!!

  4. lordari

    weird post.. i guess its the authors innermost feelings..i guess the author itself is a firgin..tats y so blatantly he has come out criticizing the firgins..i guess the author is goin thru celibacy or something like that…he is needs to be bedded.

  5. Pingback: pikchaar abhi baki hai mere dostt. « Tan Theta

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