Lets face it . We have all thought about this at one time or the other .By “we” ,I mean everyone .The hot chick who isn’t dating a dork feels sorry and confused for obvious reasons. The ugly chick is angry as to why the dorks can’t be left alone (read: left for them poor souls). The disillusioned ugly chick smirks at the thought of having made a better score.The ugly guy tries to kill himself in vain. The Greek God feels hard done by. The disillusioned ugly guy denies that the chick is hot. And so on. For one reason or the other , we think. When those googly-woogly cheeks are squeezed by the hoofs of a black baboon, we cringe.We all do.
So what is the deal really ? What prompts them hot chicks to so blatantly violate the most sanctified social norm? We at Tan Theta have a few theories:
Theory 1 : Make-up man
This is possibly the oldest and most popular theory. Now , as you might know, hot chicks are not always born hot. Their growing hot and remaining so, entails a number of difficult procedures. Hot chicks wear hot clothes and use hot cosmetics. All of these are expensive. And hot chicks don’t particularly enjoy working hard. Hence the need for a rich dork. Such couples are generally the ones you find in malls. Hot chicks of this category possess a certain special quality of being able to curl their lips and roll their eyeballs in a hypnotic manner, so as to convince their rich dorky boy-toy to buy them anything. “The make-up man” in such a scenario is either merrily oblivious or knowingly chooses to ignore his ever thinning bank balance. And who can blame him .
Theory 2 : Emo cushion
Chicks are, in general an emotional species. They experience all emotions in higher than normal doses. So , when they are sad , they don’t weep but wail. When angry , they don’t bang fists but wail out loud. When happy, they don’t smile or laugh , but wail their lungs out over how they have never been happier. In other words, chicks cry. A lot. Such chicks often need shoulders to cry upon and and a pair of ears to listen to their stories of pathos. Dorks often take advantage of such situations and dive in with their welcoming shoulders and super-senstive ears wherever they spot an emotionally needy hot chick. You got to admit that the “emotional attyachar” is a cheap price to pay for the pout lips and petite bosoms. And so it goes.
Theory 3 : Rockstar
If you have read any of our posts, you would know that Tan Theta likes sex. We support fornication and approve it in all forms.Now now, don’t let your imagination wander.So yes .Sex. That’s our third theory. Now if there’s one right we concede to all hot chicks, it is to have good sex. In fact, so much so, that all of us with balls are willing to personally further their cause. But of course, hot chicks can’t oblige everyone. And not every guy can rock a hot chick’s world like she deserves it. And hence the need for Mr.Rockstar. Rockstars are those rare Indian specimens who possess both the right tool and right techniques, if you know what I mean. They could , for all purposes, be dorky and ugly but lets face it , the face isn’t going to give them the orgasms. So rockstar gives “pyaasi zameen” the required “baarish ke boondein” whenever she needs them and they make love happily ever after.
Theory 4 : Lucky boy
For all our ingenious theories, there are certain cases which defy any logical explanation. Cases of hot chick and dorky guy so unpalatable, that they make you question our very evolution. We club all these cases under the unimaginative “Lucky boy” header. Lucky boys are just that. Plain simple fucking lucky. They were born lucky and keep getting so against all odds. Lucky boys specialise at being at the right place at the right time and fortuitously saying the right things.Everything else follows.
I would like to say it outright that Tan Theta does not approve such blatant aberrations. We regard the hot chick-ugly guy combination as blasphemy and strongly condemn it. In fact , we approve only the following combinations.
Hot chick – Hot guy
Ugly chick – Ugly guy
Hot chick- One of us
Here’s hoping that the rest of the world unites in agreement. TANk You !
(Image courtesy : bbs.chinadaily.com)